Challenges won't defeat this Hemophilia mom: Lilian Hollington

When a child takes birth, a mother is born too. Lilian, is a mom from South Africa. To be more precise, a Hemophilia mom.

This mother came to know that she is a Hemophilia mom when her boy reached six months of age. Her little one used to get bruises, and it took seven visits with the crying baby to Red Cross Children's Hospital to finally get a diagnosis of Hemophilia.

Like any other hemo mom, Lilian had a million questions running through her mind.How to manage Hemophilia? Will I be able to provide all the care he needs? Will my boy be able to grow up and enjoy life like any other kid?

Bringing up a kid with Hemophilia is a little different. The challenges change as time moves on. When they start crawling, they may bruise their knees and elbows, and may get swollen joints due to bleeds.Most moms cover up all the sharp edges of furniture. When they start walking, they fall down or  walk  into doors and walls,and  bleeds from lips and bumps on forehead are common. But trying to stop them from their activities would be the worst thing to do. Lilian still laugh at the memories of her son untying the belt his gran tied around  his waist and running away, his gran chasing him.

When they reach preschool and school, another set of challenges arise - creating awareness about Hemophilia among teachers and peers.Lilian tried to explain Hemophilia stating that it was a blood disorder. But, that made people think that it was something like HIV and parents forbid the boy from sitting next to their kids or playing with them. She had to put in a lot of effort to assure that Hemophilia is not contagious and to eradicate the fear of contracting HIV from them. She realised that ignorance is not a bliss always.

Lilian even had to face accusation  of abusing her child one day from a total stranger at the sight of the massive bump and bruises on her boy's face.

The challenges grew as he grew older. He wanted to live normal and participated in every sport and used to spend lots of time together with his dad, his hero. But, those days did not last long, the family lost their man and the little boy lost his hero when he was just eight. The day her husband was laid to rest, Lilian gave birth to another boy, thankfully he didn't inherit the disorder.

Lilian and her mother gave their best to raise the kids, giving them all the love and care.
Hospital visits reduced  only to times of emergency as they started infusing at home.

Lilian met a wonderful man and got married again.He loved the boys very much and filled the void created by the loss of their dad.

Speeding to the emergency room is not uncommon in a Hemophilia family, and during one such episode, they were caught in riots . She  drove alone, through burning tyres with a badly bleeding son. She also had an experience with a hijacker attempting to hijack her car with the two boys sitting in the back. Prayers and presence of mind saved them from the attacker's knife.

Once, they went to a holiday in the country. Her son hurt himself very badly and they were forced to vacate the hotel they were lodging in. However, God's grace, the Hotel's manager, a gentleman, invited them to his home, which was close to the hospital.

 New places, always have come with a new set of rules.At hospitals in the country there were still segregation.Her husband took her bleeding son to the supposed "wrong " side as he was able to go there but the  boy  was denied treatment. He kicked up a storm and got the best care.

Yes, life will be full of challenges. Face them, with strong will and determination, the challenges will not be a challenge any more.

This mother , faced the challenges and challenged them, and that gave her kid a good life.

Salutes to the super hemo mom, Mom of Kurt Higgins, Lilian Hollington.

Compiled by : Hemant Naidu Pulijala, Dr.Anupama Pattiyeri
                         Team RedLegacy